I wish men had PMS troubles too. Why should I be the one who's always dealing with depression and gloom??

Escape? or Freedom??

Are you sure you can go all alone?
"yes I'm sure. No big deal. I can go on my own"
Do you think you can manage to cross the road at this part of the night and be safe?
"Yeah. Why not?!"
Well...I'm a little skeptical. It's late and you're a lady. What if some goons try to chase you? Do you think you will be able to handle it?
Of course I can. C'mon now, I'm not a baby ok!! Just relax!

Just then, the rick stopped. I got down. Bid bye to my best friend. I saw some men on the other side of the road. I knew they were watching me but I must take my chances. I muster courage. I know anything can happen. But nothing can go wrong if I dont let it. I muster courage.

I should be prepared to go through anything that I dread. I muster courage again. I'm crossing the road now. With each step I'm heading closer to these bunch of men. They're laughing aloud amongst themselves, trying their best to get my attention. They can see I'm alone and they probably want to intimidate me. I muster courage. I walk with confidence. Chin up and head straight. The look on my face is rather serious than nervous.

They may guess I'm not scared or anxious by the look I carry over my face. But they dont know that this is my first time and that I'm taking my chances. I'm giving my best into this whole situation and now I am more easy to get noticed as I head more closer to their sight. I almost walk past them.

I confidently walk towards my two-wheeler, kickstart it, put on my helmet and zooom away.

You did it rids!!! You took your chance. You're a winner this time, yet again!!!

Maybe we can all someday overcome fear by taking our share of chances. If this can set us free, then should I be calling it as Freedom??

The world I live in...

The thoughts I'm about to write is purely out of desperation. A sort of frantic desperation and the need to be heard. These thoughts, you can call them just plain random thoughts. They may not really make sense to you readers who walk past my blog. They may in fact quite incidentally sound unmatched, unlikely, abstract or strange. Nevertheless they're my thoughts. And they have evolved out of my innermost system of belief.

As I sit and begin to introspect myself (which I hardly get to do these days due to the busy life that I lead unfortunately), I realise many things. Things that I've never known about myself. And before I could forget them (quite strangely), I wanted to put them down in here.

To begin with, I have noticed that I am changing. Or you could perhaps call it the word-Transforming!

Transforming into something more or something better or something newer. To my surprise, this change is happening at a phenominal speed of almost everyday! I am not sure if this used to happen previously, or if it is just the way I have started to think. I guess it really must be me, maybe I have become a little more attentive to myself lately. Maybe I really have started to observe myself more closely. Well, I'm not sure. But I feel good about this change. I feel like I'm growing.

I have many problems in my life. I have many complaints. I have many insecurities. I have several regrets (which for the first time in my life i don't wanna deny). I have failed in my relationships in the past with people. I have not always kept my words. I have not always achieved what I planned. Sometimes I run out of money. Sometimes I fight with my very inferior feelings. Sometimes I underestimate my very own capabilities. I have made some disgusting decisions in my life and have repented them later on. I often mis judge my beliefs. Sometimes I fail to recognize when success falls at my feet. And even while I'm writing all this, I might be probably missing out on remembering so many other things that I failed to do.

But after all this, what matters is that I am begining to re-live my life, inspite of the several inconsistencies. And while I'm still changing, I am a contended person. I am transforming. I am free. And I am loving it.

I am 25 yrs old. I am almost single. I am independent- financially and also otherwise in some ways. I own a fancy job title. I am earning decent enough to support my family, to shop and to save. I am attractive. I get plenty of attention from the opposite sex (sometimes it brings about a nice feeling). I am creative -in my thoughts, in my opinions, in art and in my sense of dressing. I like the way I move and carry myself in crowd. I love watching cows-(yes, cows! wierd as it may sound but I don't mind saying it loud. For some reason I think they are a lovely creation and the most beautiful of animals I have seen. They look so pretty through my eyes.)

Life is just not about counting your inconsistencies but also knowing all the good things that we have. And that's why it was important for me to write stuff that I wrote above.

There is so much more I want to do. Life is beautiful. Each day smells good. Each days looks good. Each day reminds me of goodness. Each day speaks to me.

Yes, life is beautiful and there is so much i wanna do. I want to study further. Maybe do an MBA and also study cooking. I want to work as a chef in a hotel abroad. I want to settle in a western country (particularly because of the order and systems prevelant there). I want to travel around many places with beautiful locales. I want to adopt an asian kid (particularly chinese or a korean or a taiwanese) I want to be married with a family. I want to have a great married life. I want to own a bakery that makes lovely croissants, gateaux and muffins. All made by my own hands. I want to own a library. I want to own a book shop. I want to sit by a Christmas tree. And do so much more. These are probably just a handful of thoughts of all the things I want to do. Just like a handful of sand amidst a whole shore. But yes, I want to live this life inspite of the inconsistencies. Because it's a beautiful Life.

It indeed is a beautiful life! It feels great that I'm the chosen one. The chosen one, by none other than the GOD himself.

Yes! This life is beautiful!! I will live it as much as I can...

Pause. Stop. Think.

After a series of eye-opening incidents, I have realised it is so important to have an individualistic perspective towards life rather than agreeing to people's general opinions. Atleast it isn't really working that way with me. My opinions matter to me more than what others ask/tell me to do. To me, knowing what's inside "My world" is far too necessary. The last few days have not been quite good for me. I think I need to spend more time with myself. Figuring out a solution would just follow...

The corporate drama!!

I have spent almost a year working in an MNC or typically what they address it as "Corporate sector" in a more user-friendly term.

Ironically, till this date I have failed to understand all the mind-games people play here. Those games which are clever, uncanny and totally tactful.

It's utterly harsh how the enormously overated "corporate world" compels me to be someone that I'm not.

Why is it that I'm expected to be a "certain this and a certain that" when all I can be is what I choose to be rather than trying to be what I'm expected of by others.

Ok. If this sounds confusing, then let me make it more understandable for you.

Living in the corporate circles means talking all that is "supposedly meant" to be. Fake. Fake. Fake.

Looking at the person that I am, my general behaviour sometimes beccomes just too obvious for people. Often, I do the talk that is not "supposed" to be talked and walk the walk that's not supposed to be "walked".

Naturally, this 'typical-ME' not only makes a totally tactless soul of me but also makes my senses lack the know-hows of the tricky "corporate game play."

Everyone here talks about "networking" with eachother.

It is been proven that if you're an excellent networking bee, then half your job in climbing the corporate ladder becomes easier. Apparently, it is the networking that gets you where you want to be.Yes, a (corporate) mantra for a quicker promotion.

If you lack the social skills of "doing the talk" among the corporate circles, then you're termed as someone who's either less interesting or blamed of taming low morale at work. Face value works here!!

So what does it really take to be a gung-ho at playing corporate games?

Does it mean you gotta be well-read? or has it got to do with being diplomatic? Or is it that you just have to be something that you're not underneath?

Certainly, it takes you to wear masks of several types.

You probably also need to draw a bit of an inspiration from the habitual chameleon to master the art of changing colours or camouflage oneself in different every now and then.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever make it to the top of ladders inspite of all the hardwork, sincereity, and efforts I have been putting into 9 hrs. of my work life.

Well, not quite.

Sources claim where there is networking , numbers hardly ever matter. The only thing that matters is the games of the mind...PERIOD.

A Day to Remember

As I woke up this Saturday morning at about 9:00 am, I recalled it’s not one of those regular I-cant-do-much-today kind of Saturdays.

I had the whole plan afresh striking back at once in my mind that I had pre-arranged the day before Teja’s arrival to Hyderabad.

I was quiet excited about spending 2 short days with my incredibly close friend from college, Teja.

Back during our graduating days, we were a group of 4 girls in college-Jeena, Teja, Ira and me. At that time though we were closely knit, I was more close to Ira than the other two. Ira and I still are close and nothing can change that but what I’m saying is that it is quite astonishing when good times walk into your life with certain impulsiveness and that’s when all of a sudden the not-so-close people become close to you.


Note: Please wear your glasses and read on…


Re-unions to me always meant letting your hair down, dropping your inhibitions and mostly about being yourself to have some crazy, wild, whacky fun. To make the most of her stay, Teja and I set out for the day with our most mutually beloved activity-SHOPPING!

Unbelievable fact # 1 - In the last two days we’ve both splurged on shopping as if we were born to some rich dads or something. But I guess that's what best friends are all about. When one hesitates to spend that little extra money on those pair of exquisite red shoes, the other helps out in summing up the courage to go ahead and swipe your credit card without worrying too much about the expenses. And voila! Your decision on buying those exquisite red shoes becomes so easy.

And it is that very moment. That very instant, you realize that if it were not for your caring Girl- friend, you would have missed out on RED SHOES!!!!!

We met up on Friday morning. I love Friday mornings. Fridays remind me about the much awaited weekend activities (shopping especially) and all that anticipation that comes along with it.

I can't believe I took an off from work just to meet Teja. Gosh! I must have been really missing meeting some sensible people in Hyderabad. I remember I have never taken an off from work just to meet any friend, not even a good friend for that matter. But I finally did and it’s totally worth it.

We did all the possible gala wandering and lived our little “re-union”.

As I see, re-unions get better with time. The last time we met we were a little sober.

I can tell you with all the memory that I hold about my life and believe me these 2 days were the most unforgettable and remarkable days after a real long time.

We shopped. We ate out at posh places. We gossiped. We goofed around. We burst laughters. We girly-talked. We went street-hopping on the drizzling streets of Hyderabad. We splurged. And we parted eventually! Because we knew we had little alternative. We knew we had to break from all the pleasurable fun to get back to the regular routine of daily grind.

She’s leaving at 5:00 pm today. Back to Vizag. Through Vishaka Express. I want to see her off. Until the moment, my beckon fades away into plain nothingness. I will miss her having around. But we all must learn to do on our own without really missing anyone too much. Mum usually tells me that.

I shall miss you my friend. I hope we meet again soon. Until then, I will spend my time musing over our memories together.

I’m not going to forget what these 2 days have done to me. They have brought me back to being what I used to be in college- Extremely carefree and totally fun-loving.

I’m not going to forget our laughter together.

I’m not going to forget all your advices.

I’m not going to forget the way I spent away all my money and still managed a smile on my face.

I’m not going to forget the fact that this time we have come so much closer than we were ever before.

I will always love you.

Shop-a-frolic

Now tell me what can ever stop a twenty-something-girl who's on her own, and is independent in most ways (even financially) and wants to be close to her other self by indulging in activities that she likes. Well, don't let your mind run too wild. I'm only talking about what most girls typically love doing- S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G!! I'm a compulsive shopper and so what! And yes, lately my hunger pangs for shopping has become almost irresistably impulsive.

Personally, when it comes to shopping I think this whole money saving thing sounds a little too over-rated to me. To be honest maybe I would address this type of a money saving frenzy-ness as a typical "Indian thing" (spare me if i sound biased) but what the heck!! People here are too caught up with "saving one's earnings" rather than just letting it go a bit easy.

Well, in my case its more like the contrast. While I do belive that saving is important, I would also emphasise that one should indulge in a bit of spulrging as well. It's such a stress buster (no exxageration) and helps you understand the importance of looking and feeling good.

When i spulrge overtly, I get to realise it only when my mum finds the bills lying in my room. As a mother she gets as typical as she can but I'm used to her "money-saving" rattling by now anyway.

Well, come to think of it, there is little defiance we can demonstrate especially with all the discounts and sale seasons splashed all over the city malls.

Fact # 1- Shopping is a way of bonding with friends!!

Last month, Teja was in town (My best freind from college). Now tell me wouldn't it be such a disgrace to not celebrate the re-union?? Like i said shopping in other words is bonding with freinds.

You should see the way she gets all charged up on our girly shopping trips. That's another reason why we get along so well

So anyway, there we met at stampede- mmmm my favourite shoe shop. To my luck they had a flat 50% off. I noticed the way those cute pair of copper tie-ups were beckoning at me soon after i made my entree into the shop. I still remember how I was smitten at the sight of tie-ups when i first saw them in catwalk. But my heart almost sank when i saw the price tag. 1700 bucks!! Heck! How am i to afford shoes so expensive. Copper tie ups!!!!!!! Wow. I love tie-ups, at almost half a price is such a bonus. I always wanted to strut around flaunting them.

Anyway, 6 months later much to my delight i finally bought these lovely pair of copper coloured roman tie-ups for a price that couldn't have ever dreamt!! Yes 400 bucks!!! What a hot deal isn't it.

I thought over many nights and days over my foolish resistance on such lovely tie-ups. And finally on one fine sale day, I find them happily gesturing at me in the most unexpected shop at the most unexpected price!! My reaction knew no bounds. Atlast I found them.

In less than a few seconds after I swiped my card at the billing counter, there it struck to me. It was as if a heavy bolt lightning which started manouevering in my braina and there I was almost enlightened. Suddenly everything started to make sense in my head. I knew it! I knew it! The fact that I'm a wise shopper!! Yes, a WISE SHOPPER.

Fact # 2- I'm a smart shopper!

Cosmoplitan says- a smart and a wise shopper always knows what she wants. A smart shopper simply wont spend her money on buying things that she won't use. Whoa! that's like me!!. Yes, its not some random co-incidental fact. It indeed is a quality that was there in me. And from this day onwards I'm nothing but a smart shopper. My purchases this sale season were all what i always wanted!!

Fact # 3- My version of "Smart shopper" (description given below)

Apart from pampering oneself by buying useful and important stuff, smart shopping to me is not always about buying stuff for oneself. An ocassional gift to freinds makes it exciting. It not only helps us save money during sales but also invests in good relations. I love buying gifts for friends. Heard the good ol saying? When you buy gifts for others, others will buy them back for you :P

It was Teja's bday last month and what better reason to shop! And besides girls love gifts especially the ones they get for birthdays. Birthday gifts make it so momentful with a dash of sentiments. So I picked for her a nice pair of coffee coloured suede croc shoes with a chic heel to it. She did looked fab in them as she walked. And ya she did adore them right there!

The sale season doesn't just end with one shop. A smart shopper will never stop her shopping right there. We call it mall hopping in other words. The sight of a well lit mall with several chic shops makes my heart beat like a zillion times a minute. The whole anticipation of buying new stuff is like an adrenaline. The best part about sale is, when you're in a mall looking at 25 different things and wanna own them sametime the chances of buying all the 25 things is more brighter. Its so wonderfully magical. It's like a child craving for 2 candies but gets 10 candies in exchange to his unexpectations.

After about 3 hours of perserverent rummagging I bought a gorgeous looking red leather shoes, an ultra-feminine pink cardigan, lovely pair of tight half pants and a pair of new dark wine Scott glares all in just half the price!! Oh i cant wait to wear them. I have a whole new wardrobe to show off now. People wont stop complimenting me. I love it when the ladies at work go all ga-ga about my dressing. They always wanna know where i buy my stuff from. I love such comments.